A couple months ago, this exchange occurred between me and one of my parents’ co-workers, whom I shall call “J”.
“So, what do you want to do in college?” J asked me, right after we were introduced.
“Well,” I hedged, “I plan to sleep in, hang out with friends, and watch shadows elongate.” Pause. There was no flicker of recognition in J’s eyes; my sarcasm went over his head. “Um, basically—not much.”
J looked at me in askance. “I mean, what do you want to do?”
And this was when the College/What Are You Going To Do With the Rest Of Your Life? Interrogation started. Believe me, after going through this numerous times—it deserves its All Caps status. (My most sincere apologies to Strunk Jr and White, may you guys R.I.P. and not, you know, haunt me from the grave or anything.)
There’s something about one’s last two years of high school that dictates that any conversation you have with an adult, may it be your relatives or a near-perfect stranger in the supermarket, has to revolve around college. Once they know that you’re a senior or a junior in high school, the interrogation begins.
It’s a rite of passage.
It’s also a nuisance.
By November, I’ve mastered the art of listing all my ten colleges in one breath in order of preference. From Bryn Mawr and NYU to the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor.*
Which is not to say that I haven’t been guilty of using college as a convenient conversation starter because “So, how about ‘em Yankees?” is too overdone and cliché. Even so, this doesn’t make it any less annoying to 16-18 year olds everywhere.
“I’ll probably major in Anthropology and maybe minor in East Asian Studies–Japanese or Chinese.”
“Ah, Anthropology, huh? Like Indiana Jones!”
“… Uh, no.”
For most, this also involves a lot of nodding and glazed expressions when I try to explain the difference between Anthropology and Archeology. Occasionally, someone will ask what I will do career-wise, and I’ve learned by now that there’s really no good way to say “not a clue” without sounding like an idiot.
Because I honestly don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life after college and grad school.
I envy my friends who know exactly what they want to do, because I still haven’t got the slightest idea. My plan is to take a lot of different classes in college and pretty much wing it, for lack of a better word. I’ll figure out where I want to go from there. Currently, I plan to major in Anthropology and minor in East Asian Languages (Mandarin Chinese). What I end up doing after college? No idea—even if I stick with Anthropology and Chinese for the next four years. I’m a fickle person and I’m interested in many things—creative writing, political science, international relations, history, languages, etc. The sky’s the limit.
It still amazes me though, how as students we’re expected to know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. Every time someone asks, I always have to smother a mad giggle—I’m so indecisive that it takes me fifteen minutes to decide what flavor of ice cream I want from Ben & Jerry’s—and they want me to tell them what I’ve decided to do for the rest of my life? It’s laughable. I can’t pretend I know what I want to do when most of my college friends have changed majors at least once during their time in Academia Land and knowing that there is a reason behind why many adults go back to school so they can change careers.
Maybe it’s a generational thing: in the past, there weren’t as many options for high school graduates but with more and more students going to college, there’s more of a disconnection. Yet there’s still the expectation from adults for us to know what we’re going to do with our lives by th time we’re 16-18.
For students who know exactly what their future profession is and are dead-set on pursuing their dreams, I want to say that envy them more than words can say.
However, for students like me who are still trying to figure things out, I wonder if this expectation will ever become less of an issue and burden as more students choose to pursue education beyond high school.
*I didn’t end up applying to all those colleges. After a certain point, all the paperwork just made me want to hide under my desk for all of eternity. As of March 21st 2007, however, I’m now a Bryn Mawryter so all’s well that ends well (theoretically-speaking).
- Photo by Franco Folini on Flickr
I personally think it is rather boring to know what you are going to do with the rest of our lives. Part of the global changes coming about is a changing dynamic in the work place. Today’s college grads will have 14 different careers. What major prepares you for that? I am sure anthropology could get the job done.
On another note, I feel for North American students having to make this difficult decision at 18, but I’m always mindful of my good friend from Milan, Italy, where they begin selecting their career path in middle school! My friend Susan had to decide when she was about 12 that she wanted to be a psychologist. Can you even imagine having any inkling at all about what you want to “be” at 12? Yikes!
I applaud your openness to the possibility of change. Hopefully the college experience will introduce you to ideas, experiences and people who will help you challenge your understanding and change your memtal models to develop your own ideas. We live in an exciting time and the opportunities for multiple careers lay before you. Follow your bliss. Do what you love. I’m much older than you and the path is still unfolding.
Best wishes.
That gets to be a nuisance as well.
But yeah, just follow your dream and be creative in how you apply it to a career. Good luck!
In Hebrew “study” and “learn” are the same verb, meaning that if someone asks “what do you want to study?”, this could be interpreted as “what do you want to learn?”. Among my favorite answers to that question is “well, I’d certainly like to learn from experience”.
Enjoy. You’ll be fine.
Kim– I intend to do just that. I’ve had a friend of mine who was certain she was going to be a doctor only to find out that her real passion is teaching. She’s now in Japan teaching English and she loves it.
I think I went through four potential careers between the ages of twelve to fifteen so I definitely wouldn’t have been ready to decide at age twelve. Yikes is right.
Bud Deihl– College is an age of exploration, right? I’m counting on it.
I know a couple of people who are taking a year off to find themselves/get some real life experience and I have to admire them for doing it. Hopefully, it becomes more common since I think there’s still a stigma attached to it– as though the individual’s lazy and too indecisive. Nevertheless taking a year off isn’t for me because I really want to continue learning and experience college life.
Sara– There’s a facebook group called “I Picked the Major I Like And One Day I’ll Be Living in a Cardboard Box” which discusses that at length. Sometimes I wish I could be interested in something that’s as “set” as Psychology or Engineering– but my interest lies elsewhere. I’m sure that I will figure out though. There are a lot of careers that seem to have nothing to do with such-and-such major but it gets the job done anyway.
Thanks for wishing me luck!
Yankel–I really like that definition because it’s true and I like your answer! It probably leaves a lot of people blinking/scratching their head.
It’s similar to how I view learning in general. I don’t think anyone, no matter how prestigious or accomplished they are, can say that they have learned all they can in their field and that makes life interesting.
Chris– I have to admit that I side with your math students. If I can avoid math in the near future, I will. Although I suppose that in the “real world”, there are no penalties for looking up formulas and asking for help when one’s confused that isn’t available in a classroom test setting.
Christine– I know that some European education systems are the same way. In France, I think students take an exam to determine whether they will attend a liberal arts/technical & science high school. (I might be wrong, it’s been a few years since I wrote a paper on this subject.)
Two of my friends, K. & L., said that they liked that system better since they already know what they want to do and they would rather learn what they like rather than have to suffer through years of classes that will be irrelevant to their future careers/majors.
On the other hand, I always think that having a well-rounded education is always beneficial (even when it involves math and science... this is my bias showing) and it helps a person grow.
As for the topic of your seminar... I guess I disagree. All of sophomore and junior year, I thought that I would study history in college and become a high school history teacher. Anthropology and East Asian Studies weren’t even on the radar. It wasn’t until my AP Human Geography class this year that I had an epiphany and realized that Anthropology suited me better. I thinkthat this sort of realization happens to a lot of students and again, I suppose that this is where the “well-rounded” education thing comes in.
Hopefully I made some sense. I have a bad habit of flitting from topic to topic and not tying them together very well.
Learn to think, adapt, and transform. You’ll do just fine.
What you do for a living really isn’t important in the big picture.
It’s who you want to be... how do you want people to know you? What do you want to be curious about? Where might you want to live? What kind of friends do you want to have?
You might not know all the answers there, either, but following some of them will help you find a place in society as a working adult. Have fun with school, explore a variety of experiences, from friendships to studies, and find an appetite for passion in life.
Q:Should an 18 Year Old Really Know What They’re Going to Do For the Rest of Their Life?
A: Yes (in confucianism-dominant countries)
*That co-worker was talking about education at the first meeting, i have a strong feeling that he’s asian (no racism attempt)?
I am 16 years old, and I’ve been bugged by parents and relatives about my lifelong goal since junior high. That was excruciating. they pinned me down as ‘immature’ if i sounded like an “idiot”
My problem is that although I now have a clear goal what i’m going to be, I don’t know the path.
but i disagree that just because a person is graduating highschool doesn’t mean he/she should have a clear goal to the future. Many greatest persons i met didn’t know what they would do even they were in middle of college.
hope you solidify yours soon!
-soojin
When I finished my BA in education, there was no more money for graduate school, so I decided I better try out the teaching thing for at least a year. Well, I wound up at a school that I love, and my first year was a dream, and I was hooked.
My job has evolved into less teaching and more administrative duties, and continual learning about technology in education. I still love what I do. -karen
So my own experience says follow what you enjoy and the rest will come.
I can relate to that feeling, as I had friends like that, too. I’ve changed “careers” four or five times, but looking back, I can see the common themes (and they were present in college, too, I was simply too close to see!). Also, the lack of certainty can be a boon when it fosters curiosity!
College as a stepping-stone to a career defeats the beauty (and benefits) of a liberal arts education. It also impedes attempts to learn more about the self.
The Dalai Lama has been here, in Seattle, the past few days. He emphasizes knowing ones self — a process that is, IMO, 180-degrees counter to the “college as stepping stone to career” memo.
Good luck! Being fluid is more valuable, in the long run, than being fixed.
@Soojin - Some of the most interesting people I know are over 40 and have no idea what they want to do with their lives. I strongly suggest traveling the world (very cheap to do, if you know how) for a year or two before settling in one place. That’ll give you a wealth of experiences and help you figure out what, exactly, you might want to do for the rest of your life.
@Stacy - College has two main benefits and one huge drawback. The two benefits are: Building your Network, and Learning All Kinds of Random Stuff. The drawback is the huge cost. In my case, my college education came to the tune of only $25,000...pretty cheap for an American education. Still, by the time I pay it off, it’ll have grown (with interest) to closer to $35,000. Not fun.
So, really, make the most of college for what it is - a networking and learning opportunity. Don’t worry about what you’ll do with your degree. I got my BA in History and I’m now a web developer - go figure!
Several have mentioned goals. Having goals and a direction - even from middle school days - is very important. (There is some research that says kids who don’t have a career goal by sixth grade tend to become the drop-outs.)
As a teacher - who was going to be a nurse as early as I can remember and up until high school graduation - I tell my students that it isn’t important to stay on the course set. However, it is important to have a course determined by goals. Usually the steps taken towards one goal can be applied to another.
If I could set a goal for my students, it would be that they are always prepared to be the masters of their own destinies. I would hope that none ever has to give up a goal due to not preparing early in life.
..and yes, I have had several jobs - band director, computer teacher, math teacher, and health teacher.
Also, I just wanted to note that it’s not as you described for everyone your age across the country. In less affluent communities, the question may not even be asked by friends and family members, let alone every adult you meet. The fact that so many people in your life are encouraging you to go to college and you even mention graduate school as though it’s a given. I’m not saying your problems aren’t real, because the pressure on the children and teenagers from the affluent towns and the private schools is immense and unhealthy. I’m just asking you to recognize that they aren’t universal, that maybe the adults are just trying to encourage you to follow your interests.
To be honest, I do not know the answer to the concern. I admit that the process of choosing what one is going to do for rest of his or her life is not easy and sometimes it can even get pretty annoying. However, this is a process that everyone has to experience IF one wants to survive in the society, just that some people can find the answer faster then the others do.
Finally, I believe what you are going to major in for undergraduate and graduate school does not necessary mean you have to stuck with that major for the rest of your life. In fact, you can probably go into any career without the knowledge that is needed, because the company is possibly going to train you and make you to be the profession of that job. Also, the world is changing so fast, there are millions of “uncreated” jobs that is waiting for people to explore and invent. I still see a lot of opportunities around the world.
Unlike you, i am a sophmore in high school yet like you, i’m into the same subjects. This is because I feel that i must try and research what i want to do now and where it is want to go at this moment because of how hard life is getting out there.. I mean, have you seen how the economy is crashing and by God, THE GAS? What that is, is a wake up call for those who didn’t have their eyes open to the reality of how hard life is going to hit us once we get into college. Depending on who pays for your college, gas, and living arrangements ranging from rich or struggling parents to those students who must work full-time or those who work part- time so that they may have time to cram so that they may also survive academically, i mean.. it’s not easy.
Um.. lost my trail of though..
Anyways, just wanted to let you know that i feel your stress and i wish you luck in the future so that you may find your calling of career/college.