To a perfect stranger, I am an overachiever.
I’m taking three AP classes (after dropping AP Stats because math and I are not a good combination) and two semester electives as my senior course-load. I’m president of my school’s Asian-American Club. I am also involved in my creative writing’s class literary magazine, National Honor Society, AP Student Tutoring, Link Crew, and African-Latino Club. I volunteer at the library on Sundays, I sang in the school chorus from 6th grade to 11th, and I played piano like every Asian kid in the U.S. (the ones who weren’t already saddled with violin).
Through the eyes of my parents, I’m the epitome of an ABC failure. I don’t practice piano anymore, I don’t play a sport (trust me—I’m doing it for the team, I cannot walk in a straight line without tripping), and I don’t have a 4.0 GPA.
Or maybe I should rephrase my first statement. To the perfect adult stranger—one who might not be up to date with today’s ever-inflating standards of students—I may seem like an overachiever when in fact, I’m not.
Not compared to my friends and classmates.
Sit at my lunch table and you’ll find a talented mix of students from all different kinds of backgrounds and ethnicities: two National Merit Semifinalists, one secretary of the National Honor Society, three all-state musicians, two star leads in our previous school productions, an editor of the school newspaper as well as director of a local amateur teenage-run theater group, and a partridge in a freaking pear tree.
Everyone at my table is taking three AP classes, if not more. Almost all participate in Link Crew or National Honor Society.
(Disclaimer: this might be a biased/limited overview since I’m basing this on personal experience and I take mostly honors/AP classes. Additionally, a number of the students in my classes are children of Cornell or Ithaca College professors/staff.)
The truth is that being an average student doesn’t really cut it anymore. It used to be that if you get A’s and B’s, you can probably get into a decent school. Or that if you’re valedictorian, you can pretty much write yourself a ticket to any school.
Nowadays, it’s not enough just to get good grades. You have to play an instrument and two sports, volunteer, get straight A’s, attain a 1850+ SAT score, and hold some office in student council or club to even be considered many colleges—whether college admission officers would like to admit it or not. With more and more students applying to college each year, you have Cornell turning away 3 out of 4 valedictorians.
With the rise of their increasing expectations, there will also be the rise of students who will try to meet them. Just from a casual Google search of “Student overachievers” will result in a number of articles about the rise of overachieving students—students who feel like they need to be “well-rounded” in order to get accepted to a good college in order to be successful in life, as Lindsea has also covered in her post “One Sweet Dream”.
While being ambitious and responsible is great, I can’t help but feel bad for students like the ones depicted in Alexandra Robbin’s The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids. Thankfully, while my school is pretty competitive for a public school, it’s nowhere near as insane.
Although everyone I know is applying to at least one or two Ivy or Public Ivy league schools, many are also submitting applications to state colleges. Community colleges, however, are still looked down upon—just the mention of our local community college will be met with ridicule, even though it is one of the top community colleges in the country. We’re accustomed to high standards, although I sometimes wonder if we’re able to keep up with the ever increasing standards placed upon us by Above.
I’m currently happy and busy with all my extracurriculars. I participate in them because my friends are members and I sincerely enjoy those activities. I do them for myself, not because I’m trying to impress a Dean of Admissions. Too many of my peers join clubs (National Honor Society being a common culprit) only to have something to jot down on their college application.
Would you rather do something you enjoy or something that would impress others? Have you ever committed yourself to something simply to boost your resume?
- Photo by Aaron Michael Brown on Flickr
- Photo by Alexandra Lee on Flickr
The purpose and intention of obtaining an education is merely to develop an understanding of “How the World around you Works” and to find and define your role in it. You have demonstated here a “robust understanding” of same.
Prediction: You will excell (for the most part because you are a thinker!).
Continue the quest!
A perfect (you said it) adult stranger
It is entirely possibly to go to a small and obscure college, but one which is fundamentally sound from an academic standpoint and which has a good program in a field of your interest, and do amazing things in your life. Likewise, it’s possible to blow your mind in high school doing all the stuff you mentioned, get into a top university, and wash out — or graduate and then be equipped to do absolutely nothing. I have seen it both ways. In my small midwestern liberal arts college, we’ve graduated students who go on to beat out graduates from the Local Big Universities simply because they are hard workers, the love learning, and they are clear and analytical thinkers.
So Stacy, maybe you’ll be the one to spread the word that all those “standards from Above” are basically to be ignored. Instead, learn a lot in high school; get solid on your basic skills; develop some — but not too many — genuine interests and participate in a few — but not too many — extracurricular activities. THAT is what gets students at my college the big scholarships and the big jobs later on. All that other stuff about 1650 SAT’s and Ivy league prestige is just smoke and mirrors, trust me.
I’ll add my echo to Robert’s because he’s absolutely correct. I remember feeling exactly like you appear to be feeling now! When I was a senior in high school, it seemed like there was so much pressure to do it all - and to do it perfectly.
As one that actually flubbed up a time or two, I can say with honest confidence that if you simply do your best - without stressing out so much about being perfect - then all will be well in the end. Furthermore, I think that you’ll find most satisfaction in pursuing interests (academically, professionally, and even leisurely) that you enjoy most. While you may find a few “resume boosters” needful in your future, if I were you, I would take them all in stride.
Trust me, Stacy, when you’re sixty-four you’ll look back on all of this and simply smile.
I agree with Robert. Secondary education has become a fashion show. Schools compete to have the highest refusal percentage. With this comes more prestige. I feel that a person and their drive is what determines how successful they will be in life. I am a 28 year old Science Resource Teacher. My professional life has consisted of Teaching 4th grade, owning 2 successful businesses (landscaping, investment), and now am a Science resource teacher. I sold my shares of the businesses to the other owners and went back to what I enjoy doing, while taking a huge paycut. I graduated from a small State school and loved every minute of it.
I do have a point... I think I am successful because I actually enjoy my job. I didn’t enjoy the business ownership. My days were filled with constant hard work/arguments/money worries/nosleep. Now I make a living and have time to enjoy life. Remember, as far as you are concerned... the world does revolve around you.
How many of the “high achievers” at your table contribute to a globally-significant (just look at the ClustrMap), ground-breaking student blog?
You are not only acquiring valuable writing skills but also building a PLN (Personal Learning Network) that will continue to grow along with you.
If I were 21st century college recruiter, I’d be in contact with every single one of the Ohsters. You young people are are our future.
Stay well.
diane
So I guess I might suggest that your peers’ analysis of what needs to be done to get into college is a bit off the mark. Treating extra-c’s like yet another badge to be earned merely exacerbates and repeats the logical error of a myopic focus on grades. You seem to have intuited this already. So has Harvard.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I suspect that as long as I’m curious (or nosy, it may vary depending on who you ask) I’ll excel. I like learning, math withstanding.
Robert Talbert–
Somebody needs to tell high school students who think this way that, happily, that conception is completely wrong.
While you know that and I know that, but most high school students (and their parents) don’t. US News and World Report annually compile a list of “America’s Top Colleges” and well-meaning parents often pressure their kids to get into what they perceive to be a “good school” so they can be financially secure in the future.
Personally, I’m happy with what I have.
I’m not an outstanding student, but I’m highly motivated and smart. I’m in a a few clubs, but they’re stuff I enjoy doing. I think I’ve found my happy medium and I’m applying to schools that specialize in my interest (Anthropology & Asian Studies) rather than going straight for the brand-name, brag-worthy Ivy League schools.
Darren Draper– I’ve seen a few of my classmates crash and burn and believe me, I’d rather not follow in their ambitious but painful footsteps!
I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that I’m not mathematically inclined and no one in this galaxy can make quadratic equations exciting for me. I’m much more of a History/Languages/English person which is what I’ll be pursuing in college.
I’m sure that when I’m sixty-four, I’ll be fondly reminiscing my crazy high school years– though smiling with my real teeth intact, I’m not so sure.
a. woody delauder– On Facebook (no, this gets better– really) there is a I picked a major I like, and one day I will probably be living in a box which I think is very appropriate for this conversation.
Personally, I’m not mathematically inclined and I never will be. I’m also not doctor or lawyer material and if I try to go down that path, I’ll be miserable which is why I’m going to be studying what interests me (not what my parents want me study) in college. Even if that may be something as “unrealistic” as Creative Writing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. 
Diane Cordell– Point taken. Which is not to say that I don’t admire my friends– they’re all amazingly talented and motivated and I know they’ll do well wherever they go.
Thank you! I’ll try kick my immune system into submission.
Dina–I’m all for decreasing the importance of the SAT. I spent far too much of my time trying to study for that test and ended up feeling horrible when I didn’t do well.
Extracurriculars are a great way to get a glimpse of a student’s interests; I just wish that (some) students would learn that clubs are not Pokemon cards (my childhood is showing here) — they do not need to collect ‘em all!
Last week - and I kid you not, though I know you’ll believe me completely - there was a student in my IB Chemistry class complaining about a 96% he got on the latest test (which the rest of the class did poorly on). It was his “lowest high school mark ever,” and it would “ruin his GPA” unless the teacher changed it immediately. He spent thirty minutes of the review class hovering around my teacher’s desk begging her to change the grade and the other forty-five wandering around the class complaining to whoever would listen and otherwise making a racket while the rest of us were forming study groups to review. At his request, the teacher put his mark into the grading program right then and told him that he had DROPPED 0.9%... to 101.1% in the course.
Yes, he was absolutely furious. But we’re talking about a program where an “A” is the bare minimum and anything less than 90% is, by our definition, a “failing” grade. Again, I kid you not.
I think grade inflation plays a large part of it, too. It’s kind of hard to inflate grades in the AP or the IB (in the IB, assessments of our formal lab reports, oral commentaries, papers, exams, etc. are all rigorously regulated by an international committee), but in regular courses it seems to be a problem. If they keep lowering the bar, of course everyone must stay above average!
I know that overachieving high school students don’t need anything more to freak them out these days, but I just have to share these links with you... these are just, wow. All well worth the read.
http://nymag.com/news/features/24398/
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/07/education/edlife/07prepared.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/29/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/29Rparenting.html
I often stay up to 11 p.m. on school nights just trying to finish school work after having a full day of school, student council, NJHS tutoring, piano, and basketball. Has the world, turned the extraordinary into the ordinary? Are children given too much to handle? Are all my peers and I expected to be the next Einstein and Madame Currie? These are the questions I ponder...
Sorry for your angst. The good news is that there IS another way to “do school” and it doesn’t require a blinders-on march along the traditional hypercompetitive GPA/SAT/AP path to college.
In fact, I’m writing a book (to be published in spring of 2009 by Random House) called The World Is Your Campus: Skip the SAT, Save Thousands On Tuition, and Get An Outrageously Relevant Global Education. It’s based on our family’s experience (four daughters in college now) and packed with tons of tips, tricks and stories from those who have discovered the NEW way to get ahead. Hint: you’re not likely to get noticed if you’re doing what everyone else is doing.
I hope you’ll take a look at my blog–and read “The Story Behind the Book” page–at http://www.TheWorldIsYourCampus. My goal is to offer hope and help to those who are ready for a FAR more meaningful and ultimately more relevant learning experience than the one your super-achiever peers are likely to get. Bonus: it’s WAY more fun, too!
Best to you, Stacy. It is clear that you are bright, talented, articulate and motivated. You’ll do well. Just remember that your education doesn’t have to look a certain way (or carry a certain brand name) to catapult you forward!
I love this blog. Thank you all for sharing your stories!
Hugs,
Maya
It all reminds me of when people at the beach need to turn up their radios so they can drown out the sound of their neighbors’. Eventually this escalates until everyone is at full volume which only leads to stress and a high consumption of energy.
Keep up the thoughtful writing, y’all.
As the previous comments have stated, you will be fine. You will find that in fact after college in the “real world” a person is in fact not judged by the name of the university that they attended, but rather by their actions and by how they go about their jobs and lives. You are reflective and a writer.
And despite how much we HS educators and counselors like to emphasize how important the college process is...ultimately, you will thrive in your life and the name on your college sweatshirt will matter little.
You have tapped into something that speaks to so many out there...thank you for that...I’ll be sharing with the students here in Bangkok.
Mid-way through our high school career, students are expected to just know already, none of this “So, what will you major in college?” and “... Er, I’m Undecided” nonsense.
Kris– I have a lot of those in my class. Just today, my sister complained that she only got a 97 on a math test. I think I was tempted to trip her. (Just kidding... well, maybe.)
Grade inflation is definitely a factor. I know from past experiences that a few of my teachers (who shall remain nameless in case they ever stumble upon this and decide to inflict pain and bloodshed on me) curved grades to keep up appearances. As a result, I still can’t speak French to save my life even though I’ve been taking it five years.
Thanks for those links! They’re terrifying and yet comforting at the same time.
Christine– I’m glad like you this post
I hoped students would be able to relate to this: even though I know that some people try to make it seem like most students are lazy bums, I don’t feel it’s true.
I struggled with the “Should I do this because I want to? Or is this just another thing to put on my college application?” over the summer so I can sympathized. I had the choice between Summer College at Cornell or being a TA in a ESL class at summer school and ultimately, I went with the latter and I had a fantastic time.
Words of wisdom (a bit rich, coming from me, I know)– don’t stress out too much, enjoy your time in high school, and do stuff you actually enjoy and find fulfilling. <3
I work in a district whose high school was just recognized by US News and World Report as a Top 100 highschool. (Are we going to see ranks of middle schools next? Elementary schools?).
I’ve seen a lot of amazing students pass through my classes. I’ve often thought “these kids are smarter than I’ll ever be”. I may know more (life experience), but they learn better, faster, more completely than I ever did.
I think you should set your own parameters for what success is. Constantly trying up to others expectations can be a drain. If you use your abilities to pursue what makes you happy then you’ll be successful.
Although, is it fair to have to do all of that to just get into any colledge? Or should it just be based on your SAT scores?
Come visit my classes blog at:
guysread.typepad.com/theblurb
Signed,
Flying Onion Boy
I could not agree with you more! I fell the strain to achieve in school and with extracurriculars so much- myself being in 7th grade. I feel this strain because I have 3 older siblings and a lot of my friends are older than me. When people inquire what electives I am planning on taking, and I say Elective I Want To Take, they say no way, you’ve got to take Elective That Is No Fun But Looks Good On College Applications. I am in all advanced classes (including double advanced math), Math Team, Academic Team, Volunteer Work Club, and I am an officer in Student Council. I am also taking my ACT this year to “start preparing for college”. Even with piles of homework, rigorous extracurriculars, and other numerous responsibilities related to work part of school, none of that amounts to the social part of school. You can’t be seen with the wrong people, you have to wear the right clothes, hang out at the right places, watch the right TV shows, dislike the right techers, gossip about the right students, and break the right rules.
Great post.
This is a very good reality check for us to actually see why we put as much time and effort as we do into minuscule assignments for us to see that it is not all overlooked. Once again, great post and kudos for saying what I am afraid to consider.
You can call me what most people call, the “Perfect Student”. Even though we’re in the Gifted Program. I’m considered the top in that. The funny thing is, I don’t even know how I got that. I admit that my parents put immense pressure on me, their paradigm being “Pressure makes diamonds!” (Joy oh joy).
I don’t think that I try to be ambitious; it seems like the ambition comes naturally to me. Sometimes I wonder how I can NOT go insane.
The pressure put on me by my parents is unbearable. My mom is always constantly reminding me of So and So’s daughter who attends Yale from Singapore through a government sponsored scholarship and her friend’s sister’s daughter who got into Cornell, Penn State, Princeton, and Harvard.
I take violin, piano, and clarinet. I have dance Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have volleyball on Wednesdays. I have art class on Saturday mornings. I tutor at the library Saturday afternoons. I volunteer at the Historical Society on Sundays, and I’m planning to head to China and teach English there for 2 months. I’m Editor of our school newspaper and Student Council President. I do Cheerleading before school. I’m also President of the Chinese/Asian Society. I’m an Exec in the Yearbook Council, Animal Rights Club and some other clubs that I’m too lazy to mention.
The bottom line is, sometimes, we do so much, but we feel like we need to do more. It feels like it is never enough.
..and now I have my violin lessons to go to...joy.....